How to Revive Romance in Your Marriage

How to Revive Romance in Your Marriage


ANNOUNCER: COMING UP ON “MARRIAGE TODAY WITH JIMMY & KAREN”… JIMMY: MEN SAY, LET ME PAY ATTENTION HERE. I’LL TEACH YOU WHAT ROMANTIC IS. YOU KNOW? GO GET MY RIFLE OUT, SHINE IT UP, GO GET YOUR POM-POMS, WE’RE GONNA HAVE A BIG NIGHT. YOU KNOW, AND…THIS IS WHAT WHAT ARE WE WHAT WAS HE THERE FOR? AND SHE’S FRUSTRATED. SHE SAYS, THAT’S NOT ROMANTIC TO ME. BUT IT’S ROMANTIC TO HIM. IT’S VERY ROMANTIC TO HIM. AND SHE THEN SHE COMES TO HIM TRYING TO GIVE HIM A LESSON, SAYING, WE’RE GONNA WATCH THE LIFETIME NETWORK AND CRY. AND…WHAT?! I OPENED THE DICTIONARY AND LOOKED UP THE WORD “ROMANCE,” AND IT SAID, “SEE ROMANTIC.” AND SO I LOOKED UP THE WORD “ROMANTIC,” AND IT SAID, “SEE “ROMANCE.” [LAUGHTER] THAT’S LIKE A DICTIONARY TRICK. YOU KNOW, THEY DON’T WANT TO JUST ADMIT I DON’T KNOW. SO… A LOT OF PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT ROMANCE IS JUST FOR WOMEN. WOMEN AND STRANGE MEN. AND, UH, YOU KNOWHAVE YOU EVER GONE LIKE INTO THE ROMANCE SECTION OF A BOOKSTORE AND YOU SEE ALL THOSE ROMANCE NOVELS THERE? YOU DON’T SEE MEN IN THERE. YOU SHOULDN’T. DON’T EVER GO IN THERE, EVEN WITH YOUR WIFE. DON’T GO IN THERE. YOU’LL NEVER COME OUT THE SAME. IF YOU EVER SEE A MAN IN THE ROMANCE SECTION OF A BOOKSTORE, DON’T GO IN AFTER HIM. BUT JUST STAND AT THE EDGE AND STARE AT HIM. [LAUGHTER] AND WHEN HE LOOKS AT YOU, GO… [LAUGHTER] HE’S IN DANGER. AND A LOT OF PEOPLE BELIEVE ROMANCE IS JUST FOR WOMEN. MENLISTENMEN HAVE THE SAME NEED FOR ROMANCE THAT WOMEN DO. A LOT OF MEN WOULD SAY, OH, I DON’T NEED THAT. WELL, I’LL PROVE IT TO YOU HERE IN JUST A MINUTE. A LOT OF PEOPLE BELIEVE IT’S A FEELING THAT YOU CAN’T CONTROL. AND A LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD SAY, I’M JUST NOT THE ROMANTIC TYPE. YES, YOU ARE. OH, YES, YOU ARE. IT’S NOT A FEELING. IT’S SOMETHING THAT IT’S A BEHAVIOR THAT YOU’RE IN CONTROL OF. AND EVERY PERSON NEEDS ROMANCE, WHETHER YOU REALIZE IT OR NOT. AND EVERY PERSON CAN BE ROMANTIC. YOU’RE ALWAYS ROMANTIC WHEN YOU MEET EACH OTHER, WHETHER YOU REALIZE IT OR NOT. SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE IT’S A SEASONAL EXTRA. IN OTHER WORDS, IT’S FOR VALENTINE’S DAY OR ANNIVERSARY OR WHEN I’M IN THE DOG HOUSE OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. IT IS THE DAILY ESSENTIAL OF A GOOD RELATIONSHIP, IN OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS AND OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH OUR SPOUSE. IT’S AN ESSENTIAL EVERY DAY IN OUR RELATIONSHIP. SO LET ME TALK ABOUT THE 3 CHEMICAL ELEMENTS OF ROMANCE. I’M TALKING ABOUT A CHEMICAL THAT WILL RUST-PROOF YOUR RELATIONSHIP. WHEN YOU PUT ROMANCE ONTO YOUR RELATIONSHIP, IT WILL REMOVE EMOTIONAL RUST, IT WILL MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP LIKE NEW, THE FIRST LOVE WILL COME BACK, AND IT WILL PROTECT YOUR RELATIONSHIP. THAT’S WHAT ROMANCE DOES. HERE ARE THE 3 CHEMICAL ELEMENTS OF ROMANCE. NUMBER ONEMEETING AN UNSPOKEN NEED OR DESIRE IN YOUR SPOUSE. UNSPOKEN. IF YOU HAVE TO KEEP SAYING IT, IT MEANS YOU’RE NOT PAYING ATTENTION. AND SO ROMANCE ONLY HAPPENS WHEN I’M DOING SOMETHING PROACTIVELY. I’M SENDING YOU A CARD, FLOWERS, A SPECIAL THING THAT I KNOW YOU LIKE. THIS IS WHAT WE DO WHEN WE MEET. WHEN WE MEET EACH OTHER, WE STUDY EACH OTHER. WHEN KAREN AND I MET AT 16 YEARS OLD, I WAS JUST A SELFISH IDIOT, REALLY. BUT I WAS MR. DON JUAN WITH KAREN, ‘CAUSE I WANTED TO IMPRESS HER. AND I STUDIED HER. FOR THE FIRST FEW MONTHS OF OUR RELATIONSHIP WHEN I WAS PURSUING HER, I STUDIED HER. AND WHEN I WAS STUDYING HER I WAS THINKING, WHAT IS IT THAT SHE WOULD LIKE? AND I DID IT. SHE NEVER HAD TO ASK ME TO DO IT. I DID IT BECAUSE I WAS PURSUING HER, AND I WANTED HER TO LIKE ME. SO I NATURALLY DID THE THINGS THAT SHE LIKED. AND THEN I ALSO STUDIED HER AND I THOUGHT, WELL, WHAT IS IT THAT SHE WOULDN’T LIKE? I DIDN’T DO ANY OF THAT STUFF. AND IF I DID, I APOLOGIZED AND DIDN’T DO IT AGAIN. THAT’S WHAT ROMANCE MEANS. I’M STUDYING YOU. TWO THINGSTWO THINGS THAT ARE CRITICAL IN ROMANCE. NUMBER ONE IS, YOU’RE ON MY HEART. ROMANCE MEANS I DON’T HAVE TO THINK ABOUT YOU, I GET TO THINK ABOUT YOU. AND WHEN I’M WITH MY FRIENDS, YOU’RE ON MY HEART. WHEN I’M AT WORK, YOU’RE ON MY HEART. WHEN I’M DOING SOMETHING ELSE, YOU’RE ON MY HEART. AND SO WHEN I’M BEING ROMANTIC TO YOU, I’M EXPRESSING THE FACT THAT YOU’RE THE MAINEXCEPT FOR JESUSYOU’RE THE MAIN THING THAT’S ON MY HEART. AND SO IT’S CRITICAL IN THE BUILDING OF THE RELATIONSHIP. THE SECOND THING THAT ROMANCE MEANS IS, I’M PAYING ATTENTION. I’M STUDYING YOU. YOU DON’T HAVE TO NAG OR BEG OR SAY IT 8 TIMES. I’M STUDYING YOU. AND THAT’S WHY, IF YOU’VE BEEN MARRIED FOR 10 YEARS, YOU SHOULD BE MORE ROMANTIC THAN YOU WERE AT 5 YEARS BECAUSE YOU KNOW MORE ABOUT EACH OTHER. YOU HAVE MUCH MORE TO BUILD ON. BUT WHAT HAPPENS IS, WHEN YOU LOSE YOUR FIRST LOVE, YOU DO THE THINGS THAT YOU KNOW ANNOY YOUR SPOUSE, BUT YOU DON’T CARE. AND YOU DON’T DO THE THINGS THAT YOU KNOW PLEASE YOUR SPOUSE. THAT’S HOW YOU KNOW YOU’VE LOST ROMANCE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP. IT’S BECAUSE YOU JUST DON’T CARE ANYMORE. YOU’RE JUST DOING THE THINGSACTUALLY, WHEN YOU LOSE ROMANCE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP, ACTUALLY STRANGERS GET BETTER TREATMENT THAN YOUR SPOUSE. THAT’S HOW YOU REALLY KNOW THAT YOU LOST ROMANCE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP. BUT HERE’S THE REAL ISSUE OF ROMANCE. AND IT’S A CORE HUMAN NEED OF DESIRE. ALL OF US IN HERE TODAY, MEN AND WOMEN, WE NEED TO BE DESIRED. IT’S AN IMPORTANT NEED. THAT’S WHY PEOPLE WORK SO HARD AT LOSING WEIGHT AND WHITENING THEIR TEETH AND SMELLING GOOD AND ALL THAT KIND OF STUFF. IS BECAUSE I WANT TO BE DESIRED. I WANT SOMEONE TO DESIRE ME. AND THE PERSON THAT COMMUNICATES DESIRE MORE THAN ANY OTHER PERSON LIKE US IS OUR SPOUSE. LET ME TELL YOU WHY YOU FALL IN LOVE. LET ME TELL YOU WHY YOU FALL OUT OF LOVE. THERE ARE TWO REASONS WHY YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH ANYBODY THAT YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH. NUMBER ONE IS THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT THEM THAT YOU ADMIRE AND DESIRE. WITH KAREN, WHEN I WAS 16 YEARS OLD, I ADMIRED HER AND I DESIRED HER. BUT THE REASON THAT I FELL IN LOVE WITH KAREN WAS VERY SIMPLE. I LIKED THE WAY SHE MADE ME FEEL ABOUT MYSELF. IT’S TRUE. YOU’RE NEVER GOING TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A PERSON THAT MAKES YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT YOURSELF. UNLESS IT’S A VERY DYSFUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIP. EVERY PERSON THAT YOU’LL EVER FALL IN LOVE WITH, THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT THEM THAT YOU ADMIRE AND DESIRE, AND YOU LIKE THE WAY THEY MAKE YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF. BUT WHEN YOU FALL OUT OF LOVE, IT’S BECAUSE I DON’T LIKE THE WAY I FEEL WHEN I’M AROUND YOU. AFTER I’VE BEEN AROUND YOU I FEEL UGLIER AND DUMBER AND LESS DESIRABLE. NO ONE MAKES US FEEL MORE DESIRED THAN JESUS CHRIST. WE’RE ALL HERE IN THIS PLACE THIS MORNING BECAUSE WE LOVE JESUS. BUT JESUS LEFT HIS THRONE IN HEAVEN TO COME DOWN TO DIE FOR US, AND THE BIBLE SAYS THAT WE’RE SEATED WITH HIM IN HEAVENLY PLACES. HE DOESN’T PUT US DOWN, HE LIFTS US UP. AND NO ONE THINKS MORE HIGHLY OF US THAN JESUS CHRIST. AND THAT’S WHY WE LOVE HIM. I LIKE THE WAY JESUS I ADMIRE JESUS, BUT I LIKE THE WAY HE MAKES ME FEEL ABOUT MYSELF. AND SO WHEN YOU’RE, WHEN YOU’RE PROACTIVELY PURSUING YOUR SPOUSE, WHAT YOU’RE SAYING THAT MEETS THIS CORE DESIRE WITHIN YOUR SPOUSE, WHAT YOU’RE SAYING IS, I DESIRE YOU. YOU’RE DESIRABLE TO ME. THAT’S WHY I THINK ABOUT YOU. THAT’S WHY I PURSUE YOU. I DESIRE YOU. THE SAME THING WITH JESUS CHRIST. I DESIRE YOU, JESUS. YOU’RE NOT A BALL AND CHAIN. I DON’T HAVE TO SERVE YOU, I GET TO SERVE YOU. THAT NEED FOR DESIRE IS SO CRITICAL, AND ROMANCE IS HOW YOU MEET THAT DESIRE. NUMBER TWO CHEMICAL ELEMENT OF ROMANCE IS SPEAKING LOVE IN YOUR SPOUSE’S LANGUAGE. ROMANCE LOOKS DIFFERENT FOR A MAN THAN IT DOES FOR A WOMAN. SO LET’S TALK ABOUT THE WOMEN. SO, HOWHOW DOWHAT DOES ROMANCE MEAN FOR A WOMAN? WELL, IT MEANS HE THOUGHT OF IT. HE THOUGHT OF IT. HE CAME HOME, SAID, BABY, WE’RE GOING OUT TO RED LOBSTER. WE’RE GOING OUT TO WHATEVER. WE’RE GONNA GO OUT TO DINNER. I’VE ALREADY MADE ALL THE PLANS. WE’RE GONNA GO OUT. AND YOU GO OUT, AND THERE’S GONNA BE LOTS OF TALKING. YOU’RE GONNA TAKE LITTLE BITES AND EAT FOR A LONG TIME, AND EVERY TIME YOU TAKE A BITE, YOU’RE GONNA TALK ABOUT ANOTHER FEELING. [LAUGHTER] AND IF THERE’S ANY SEX INVOLVED, IT’S AT THE VERY END OF A VERY LONG ROAD. [LAUGHTER] LOT OF HOLDING, LOT OF TALKING, AND LOTS OF FEELINGS. AND THAT’S ROMANCE FOR HER, BUT IT’S NOT ROMANCE FOR A MAN. ROMANCE FOR HIM IS, I BOUGHT FOOTBALL TICKETS. [LAUGHTER] LET’S JUMP IN THE TRUCK, WE’RE GONNA GO TO THE FOOTBALL GAME. WE’RE GONNA HAVE A GREAT TIME. BY THE WAY, HAVE YOUR MUSCLES GROWN? YOU LOOKMAN, YOUR BODY JUST LOOKS GREAT. I MEAN, WOW. BOUGHT FOOTBALL TICKETS, WE GO TO THE FOOTBALL GAME, WE’RE GONNA COME HOME, AND IT’S GONNA BE A SHORT ROAD. [LAUGHTER] [HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] REALLY? YOU THINK MY MUSCLES ARE BIGGER, WE’RE GOING TO PLAY FOOTBALL, SEX. [NORMAL VOICE] I MEAN, THAT’SHETHAT’S ROMANCE FOR HIM. SOBUT HERE’S WHAT HAPPENS IN MARRIAGES. WE GET INTO A BATTLE OF LANGUAGES. AND RATHER THAN BEING ROMANTIC IN OUR SPOUSE’S LANGUAGE, SEE, ROMANCE IS A LANGUAGE DEMONSTRATION, NOT A LANGUAGE LESSON. BUT WHAT HAPPENS IS, WE GET INTO A BATTLE THAT MEN SAY, LET ME PAY ATTENTION HERE. I’LL TEACH YOU WHAT ROMANTIC IS. YOU KNOW? GO GET MY RIFLE OUT, SHINE IT UP, GO GET YOUR POM-POMS, WE’RE GONNA HAVE A BIG NIGHT. YOU KNOW? ANDAND SHE SAYS, WHAT WHAT ARE WEWHAT WAS HE THERE FOR? AND SHE’S FRUSTRATED. SHE SAYS, THAT’S NOT ROMANTIC TO ME. BUT IT’S ROMANTIC TO HIM. IT’S VERY ROMANTIC TO HIM. AND SHETHEN SHE COMES TO HIM TRYING TO GIVE HIM A LESSON, SAYING, WE’RE GONNA WATCH THE LIFETIME NETWORK AND CRY. AND…WHAT?! GIRLGIRLAND GIRL MOVIES HURT PHYSICALLY, BY THE WAY, LADIES. GIRL SHOWS, THEY PHYSICALLY HURT MEN. [LAUGHTER] AND, UH, EVERY TIME I WATCH ONE, EVERY TIME I GO TO A GIRL MOVIE, I GET THIS EXCRUCIATING PAIN 2 INCHES DOWN, RIGHT HERE. [LAUGHTER] IT’S LIKEIT’S LIKE WHEN YOU EAT, LIKEWHAT DO THEY CALL IT WHEN YOU EAT TOO MUCH COLD STUFF? BRAIN FREEZE. SO THE OTHER DAY, KAREN AND I WERE TRYING TO SELECT A MOVIE TO WATCH. AND I SAIDI SAID WORDS THAT MADE ME KNOW HOW GREAT OF A MAN I AM. [LAUGHTER] I SAID, ANY MOVIE YOU WANT. AND AS SOON AS I SAID IT, I THOUGHT…[SOBS] NO. WHAT DID I JUST DO? [LAUGHTER] BECAUSE THERE’S NOT GONNA BE KILLING IN A MOVIE SHE CHOOSES. THERE’S NOT GONNA BE ANY BIG ACTION THERE, JUST TALKING, TALKING, TALKING, TALKING, TALKING. [LAUGHTER] BUT…ME BEING ROMANTIC MEANS I’M SPEAKING HER LANGUAGE. WHEN YOU GET MARRIED, MEN THINK MEN, AND WOMEN THINK WOMEN. BUT LET ME SAY THIS. WHEN YOU’VE BEEN MARRIED LONG ENOUGH, YOU OUGHT TO BE THINKING “THEM.” SEE, I THINK WOMAN. I KNOW HOW TO THINK WOMAN. I’VE BEEN BEAT UP HARD. [LAUGHTER] I KNOW HOW WOMEN THINK. ‘CAUSE I’VE BEEN WITH ONE FOR A LONG TIME, YOU KNOW. SO, WHEN I’M THINKING IN MARRIAGE TERMS, I REALIZE THAT TO TRY TO FORCE KAREN TO LOVE ME AND MEET MY NEEDSI CAN TELL HER WHAT MY NEEDS ARE. WE HAVE THAT KIND OF A MARRIAGE, AND WE TALK VERY OPENLY ABOUT ISSUES IN OUR MARRIAGE. BUT WHAT I REALIZED IS, TO SCOLD HER, TO PREACH TO HER, TO TRY TO TRAIN HER TO PLEASE ME, THAT’S JUST DUMB. WHAT I’VE GOT TO DO IS TALK HER LANGUAGE. AND BEFORE I TALK HER LANGUAGE, I HAVE TO THINK HER LANGUAGE. AND A LOT OF TIMES, WHAT I THINK IS, WHAT WOULD SHE WANT? WHAT DOES SHE WANT TODAY? I KNOW WHAT I’M THINKING, BUT WHAT IS SHE THINKING? AND WHAT I HAVE FOUND IS, WHEN I GO INTO HER WORLD AND I’M ROMANTIC IN HER LANGUAGE, SHE COMES HOME AND ALL THE CLOTHES ARE FOLDED. WHEN I WALK IN THE HOUSE, THE DRYER’S ON, OR WHATEVER, I LOOK IN THE DRYER, FOLD THE CLOTHES. IT’S JUST SOMETHING I DO. I’VE TRAINED MYSELF OVER THE YEARS. I DON’T WANT HER TO HAVE TO COME HOME TO FOLD CLOTHES. AND SO I HELP AROUND THE HOUSE. I DO THINGS LIKE THAT. SHE LOVES IT. THAT’S BIG POINTS. BIG POINTS. SHE THINKS MY LANGUAGE. SHE COMES INTO MY WORLD. SHE KNOWS WHAT I LIKE. AND KAREN REGULARLY COMES INTO MY WORLD, AND… THAT’S WHAT MAKES A GOOD MARRIAGE. YOU BOTH NEED ROMANCE. YOU’RE JUST ROMANTIC IN DIFFERENT WAYS. SO, GO INTO EACH OTHER’S WORLD AND BE ROMANTIC IN YOUR SPOUSE’S LANGUAGE. ONE OTHER THING THAT I’LL SAY AS I CLOSECOMMUNICATING UNIQUE VALUE. THIS IS THE THIRD CHEMICAL ELEMENT OF ROMANCE. COMMUNICATING UNIQUE VALUE TO YOUR SPOUSE. THAT THERE’S NO ONE ELSE LIKE YOU. YOU HAVE A PLACE IN MY LIFE THAT NO ONE ELSE HAS. YOU HAVE A VALUE ABOVE EVERYTHING ELSE IN MY LIFE EXCEPT FOR JESUS. AND THAT’S WHAT ROMANCE MEANS. AND WHEN JESUS WAS COMING TO THE CHURCH AT EPHESUS AND SAYING YOU LEFT YOUR FIRST LOVE, WHAT HE WAS SAYING WAS, SOMEBODY ELSE IS GETTING FIRST. COMPARATIVELY. YOU KNOW WHEN YOU’RE GETTING THE BEST AND YOU KNOW WHEN YOU’RE NOT. THIS SOMETIMES HAPPENED THROUGH GIFTS AND THINGS LIKE THAT. I KNOW WOMEN LIKE JEWELRY. I MEAN, KAREN CERTAINLY DOES. AND ONE OF THE THINGS THAT JEWELRY COMMUNICATES IS A UNIQUE VALUE. THAT’S ONE OF THE REASONS IT’S SUCH A POPULAR ROMANTIC GIFT. BUT THERE’S ONE OTHER THING I WANT TO SAY AS I CLOSE, IS THE CREATIVE ISSUE HERE. MY UNCLE CHARLES PASSED AWAY ABOUT, I THINK 10 OR 15 YEARS AGO, AND I DID HIS FUNERAL. AND MY AUNT PEGGY, I WAS TALKING TO HER TO PREPARE TO EULOGIZE HIM AT THE FUNERAL. THEY HAD A GREAT MARRIAGE. THEY WERE MARRIED FOR 40 YEARS. A GREAT MARRIAGE. AND I SAID TO MY AUNT PEGGY, I SAID, WELL, TELL ME SOME THINGS TO SAY ABOUT CHARLES. AND SHE SAID, WELL, HE WAS A GREAT HUSBAND. AND SHE SAID, WE HAD A GREAT MARRIAGE. SHE SAID, WE ALWAYS HAD A GREAT MARRIAGE. LISTEN TO WHAT SHE SAID. EVERY DAY, FOR ALL THOSE YEARS, BEFORE HE WENT TO WORK, HE WROTE A NEW POEM FOR ME EVERY DAY AND LEFT IT ON THE DINING ROOM TABLE BEFORE HE WENT TO WORK. NOW, YOU WOMEN, I CAN HEAR THE “AHHS” FROM THE WOMEN, IS THATNOW, THAT WAS BEFORE THE INTERNET. SO HE WASN’T CHEATING. I TOLD KAREN, I’LL GIVE YOU 3 OR 4 A DAY IF YOU WANT THEM. I FOUND THE WEBSITE THATBUT… [LAUGHTER] BUT MY UNCLE WOULD SITNOW, THINK ABOUT THIS, NOW. SAT DOWN EVERY MORNING BEFORE HE WENT TO WORK AND TOOK THE MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL ENERGY, THE CREATIVE ENERGY, TO EXPRESS TO MY AUNT, IN A NEW WAY THAN EVER BEFORE, HOW MUCH HE LOVED HER. THAT’S PHENOMENAL. IT’S PHENOMENAL. AND THAT’S WHY THE BIBLE SAYS “SING TO THE LORD A NEW SONG” 5 TIMES. WE’RE COMMANDED TO SING THE LORD A NEW SONG. YOU KNOW WHY? GOD DOESN’T WANT THE SAME SONG OVER AND OVER AND OVER. GO WANTS US TO USE SOME CREATIVE ENERGY TO SING SOME NEW SONGS, SO THAT WE KEEP TELLING HIM IN DIFFERENT WAYS WHY WE LOVE HIM. EVERY MARRIAGE CAN BE INDESTRUCTIBLE, AND I KNOW IN THE SOCIETY THAT WE LIVE IN TODAY, SOME PEOPLE MIGHT RAISE AN EYEBROW AT THAT AND THINK, WELL, MAYBE THAT’S NOT TRUE. BUT GOD NEVER DESIGNS ANYTHING TO FAIL. EVERYTHING THAT HE DESIGNS, HE DESIGNS FOR SUCCESS. AND GOD MADE MARRIAGE. AND THESE PRINCIPLES AND TRUTHS THAT I’M TALKING ABOUT TODAY, WE WANT TO PUT THESE INTO YOUR HANDS. WE HAVE THE FULL CD AND DVD SET OF THE 8-SERIES8-SESSION “INDESTRUCTIBLE MARRIAGE” SERIES. AND WE WANT TO GET THAT TO YOU. FIRST OF ALL, FOR YOUR GIFT OF ANY AMOUNT RIGHT NOW, TO SUPPORT US HERE AT “MARRIAGE TODAY,” WE WANT TO PUT THE BOOK INTO YOUR HANDS, MY BOOK, THE “7 SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL FAMILIES.” GREAT BOOK, TO HELP YOU GET A PICTURE OF WHAT A FUNCTIONAL FAMILY LOOKS LIKE. YOU MAY HAVE SOME ISSUES TO OVERCOME AND JUST SOME THINGS IN YOUR FAMILY THAT NEED TO BE FIXED OR BETTER. THIS BOOK WILL HELP YOU. FOR YOUR GIFT RIGHT NOW OF $55 OR MORE TO SUPPORT US HERE AT “MARRIAGE TODAY,” WE WANT TO GET THE 8-PART CD SERIES OF “INDESTRUCTIBLE MARRIAGE” INTO YOUR HANDS, ALONG WITH THE BOOK, “7 SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL FAMILIES.” FOR YOUR GIFT OF $90 OR MORE, WE WANT TO GET YOU THE DVD SERIES, FULL 8-SESSION DVD SERIES ALONG WITH THE BOOK “7 SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL FAMILIES.” WE WANT YOU TO HAVE THIS POWERFUL INFORMATION THAT WILL HELP YOU TO BUILD THE FAMILY AND MARRIAGE OF YOUR DREAMS, A FAMILY AND MARRIAGE THAT’S INDESTRUCTIBLE AND CAN STAND THE TEST OF TIME. WE WANT TO PUT THIS INTO YOUR HANDS. HERE’S HOW YOU CAN GET IT. ANNOUNCER: SUPPORT “MARRIAGE TODAY” WITH YOUR BEST GIFT AND RECEIVE THE SERIES “THE INDESTRUCTIBLE MARRIAGE.” WE’LL ALSO INCLUDE THE BOOK “7 SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL FAMILIES.” THE CD SERIES AND BOOK ARE YOURS FOR A GIFT OF $55 OR MORE. THE DVD SERIES AND BOOK FOR $90 OR MORE. “THE INDESTRUCTIBLE MARRIAGE” SERIES WILL SHOW YOU THE DIFFERENT KINDS OF LOVE AND WHY ONLY ONE KIND WILL LAST. KEYS TO DIVORCE-PROOF AND AFFAIR-PROOF YOUR MARRIAGE. HOW TO BE ROMANTIC IN YOUR SPOUSE’S LANGUAGE. AND MUCH MORE. JIMMY: WE’RE CALLING THIS “THE INDESTRUCTIBLE MARRIAGE” SEMINAR BECAUSE WE MEAN IT. YOU HAVE A 100% CHANCE OF SUCCESS IN MARRIAGE WHEN YOU DO IT GOD’S WAY. AND A LOT OF PEOPLE TODAY FEEL LIKE, YOU KNOW, THEY DON’T KNOW IF THEY’RE GONNA SUCCEED OR NOT. YOU’RE GONNA SUCCEED IN MARRIAGE. ANNOUNCER: SUPPORT “MARRIAGE TODAY” WITH YOUR GIFT OF ANY AMOUNT AND RECEIVE THE BOOK “7 SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL FAMILIES.” EXPERIENCE THE “INDESTRUCTIBLE MARRIAGE” SERIES TODAY. JIMMY: WELL, THIS PROGRAM TODAY IS ON THE ISSUE OF KEEPING ROMANCE ALIVE IN YOUR MARRIAGE. A BIG DEAL, KAREN, IS, YOU KNOW, WE’VE BEEN MARRIED FOR A LONG TIME, MANY YEARS. AND WE HAVE A ROMANTIC MARRIAGE. WE HAVE A GOOD MARRIAGE. WE DON’T HAVE A PERFECT MARRIAGE, BUT WE HAVE A GREAT MARRIAGE. AND WHENEVER ROMANCE ENDS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP, IT’S A DANGEROUS THING, IS YOU HAVE TO WORK AT KEEPING ROMANCE ALIVE. SO THAT’S WHAT WE’RE TALKING ABOUT ON TODAY’S PROGRAM. YOU’VE GOT SOME QUESTIONS FROM VIEWERS. KAREN: I DO. “WHEN MY WIFE AND I MARRIED IT WAS SO WONDERFUL. WE COULDN’T WAIT TO BE TOGETHER. NOW WE CAN BARELY STAND EACH OTHER. NEEDS GOING UNMET IS THE NORM. HOW DO WE GET THIS BACK ON TRACK?” JIMMY: WELL, HE SHOULD. AND, YOU KNOW, THEWHEN YOU CHANGE, YOUR MARRIAGE CHANGES. AND WHEN YOU HAVE A STALEMATE, WHAT CAUSES A STALEMATE IN A RELATIONSHIP IS BASICALLY TWO PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE THE OTHER PERSON IS THE PROBLEM. AND THAT’S REALLY NEVER TRUE, IS YOUR SPOUSE IS NEVER ALL OF THE PROBLEM. AND IF YOU BELIEVE THAT YOUR SPOUSE IS ALL OF THE PROBLEM, YOU FEEL LIKE YOU’RE A VICTIM AND THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN DO. BUT THIS MAN IS SAYING, WE USED TO LOVE TO BE TOGETHER, AND NOW THE MARRIAGE IS STALE AND WHAT CAN WE DO? YOU WORK. MARRIAGE IS WORK, IS ONE OF THE LAWS OF MARRIAGE, GENESIS 2:24″FOR THIS CAUSE A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND CLEAVE UNTO HIS WIFE.” AND THE WORD “CLEAVE” THERE MEANS “WORK.” AND A LOT OF PEOPLE BELIEVE IF THEY MARRY THEIR SOUL MATE, IF THEY MARRIED THE RIGHT PERSON, THAT THEY WOULDN’T HAVE TO WORK AT THE RELATIONSHIP. THAT’S JUST NOT TRUE. YOU HAVE TO ROLL YOUR SLEEVES UP. YOU HAVE TO WORK AT MEETING EACH OTHER’S NEEDS. HE’S SAYING THAT NEEDS ARE GOING UNMET. MEET HER NEEDS. GO INTO HER WORLD AND MEET HER NEEDS. AND WHEN YOU GO INTO HER WORLD AND YOU BEGIN TO MEET HER NEEDS, THE MARRIAGE CHANGES. YOU CAN REDEEM YOUR WIFE. YOU CAN REDEEM YOUR HUSBAND. BUT THE WORST THING THAT YOU CAN DO WHEN YOU GET INTO THIS CIRCUMSTANCE IS TO WITHDRAW, JUST TO GET MAD AND JUST SIT THERE AND WAIT FOR YOUR SPOUSE TO CHANGE. YOU CAN PRAY. YOU CAN PURSUE YOUR SPOUSE. YOU CAN MEET THEIR NEEDS. BECAUSE IT’S THE LAW AND SOWING AND REAPING. JESUS SAID, “GIVE AND IT WILL BE GIVEN TO YOU.” GOOD MEASURE. PRESS DOWN. SHAKE IT TOGETHER. RUNNING OVER. THEY’LL BE POURED INTO YOUR LAP. IN THE CONTEXT THERE WAS LOVE. HE SAID LOVE YOUR ENEMIES. PRAY FOR THOSE WHO SPITEFULLY USE YOU. BLESS THOSE WHO CURSE YOU. AND HE SAID, WHENEVER YOU GIVE, IT’S GOING TO BE GIVEN BACK TO YOU. SO WHAT ARE YOU SOWING INTO YOUR SPOUSE? WHAT ARE YOU GIVING TO YOUR SPOUSE? AND THAT REALLY IS THE ANSWER. WHEN YOU’RE WAITING FOR YOUR SPOUSE TO CHANGE, YOU REALLY ARE BEING IRRESPONSIBLE. YOU NEED TO DO YOUR VERY BEST TO REDEEM THEM AND TO MEET THEIR NEEDS. AND WHEN YOU DO THAT, YOU’RE DOING ALL YOU CAN DO. KAREN: I WAS SITTING HERE THINKING, THE MAN COULD LEAD. YOU KNOW, MAYBE HE SHOULD JUST OBVIOUSLY THERE’S ALWAYS SOMETHING THAT KEEPS THE COUPLE FROM, YOU KNOW, WHEN THEY GET IN THIS RUT, AND, YOU KNOW, THERE’S AN ARROGANCE, AND THEN THERE’S A LAZINESS THAT COMES ALONG. AND I’M SITTING THERE, YEAH, HE OUGHT TO JUST START, YOU KNOW, COURTING HER OR, YOU KNOW, ACTING LIKE HE’S STARTING TO DATE HER. JUST GO BACK TO JUST THE DATING PRINCIPLES OF, HEY, CALL HER UP AND SAY, HEY, WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO OUT TONIGHT? AND I’LL PICK YOU UP AT SUCH AND SUCH TIME. AND, YOU KNOW, TREAT EACH OTHER LIKE IT’S A WHOLE NEW THING. JIMMY: YOU KNOW, WHEN PEOPLE HAVE AFFAIRS, WHAT HAPPENS IS THEY GET INTO THIS MINDSET. AND THEY THINK THEY’RE STUCK WITH THE WRONG PERSON, AND THEY FIND THIS PERSON OVER HERE THAT THEY GO PITTY-PAT FOR, YOU KNOW. AND THEY START HAVING THIS INFATUATION. KAREN: THEY COULD HAVE DONE IT WITH EACH OTHER. JIMMY: THEY COULD HAVE DONE THAT WITH EACH OTHER. KAREN: EXACTLY. JIMMY: BUT INEVITABLY, WHAT HAPPENS IS THEY GET BACK TOWITH THAT NEW PERSON IF IT TAKES ITS COURSE, THEY GET BACK TO THE PLACE WHERE THEY HAVE TO WORK AT THE RELATIONSHIP. KAREN: AND I THINK THINGS SUBSTITUTE EACH OTHER, LIKE WE GET SO CAUGHT UP IN WATCHING TV OR WATCHINGYOU KNOW, DOING WATCHING THE DALLAS COWBOYS JUST KIDDING, JUST KIDDING. JIMMY: DON’T YOU EVER TAKE THEIR NAME IN VAIN. KAREN: I KNEW THAT WOULD BE A LITTLE FLINCHING. JIMMY: YOU JUST CROSSED THE LINE WITH ME, LADY. KAREN: BUT, YOU KNOW, SERIOUSLY, WE DO. WE GET IN A RUT. OK, SECOND QUESTION. BEFORE YOU GET UPSET. “HOW CAN I HELP MY HUSBAND BE MORE ROMANTIC WITH ME? HE BELIEVES THAT HIS JOB OF ROMANCING ME IS DONE SINCE WE’VE BEEN MARRIED FOR YEARS. IF I TELL HIM EXACTLY WHAT TO DO, THAT SPOILS THE ROMANCE. PLEASE HELP.” JIMMY: WELL, YOU REALLY NEED TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION, KAREN. BUT HONESTLY, PRAYING FOR HIM, MEETING HIS NEEDS, AND LOVINGLY COMMUNICATING, YOU KNOW, WHAT SHE DESIRES. BUT REALLY, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I THINK SHE CAN DO IS PRAY FOR HIM. KAREN: WELL, I AGREE. AND THEN I REMEMBER I USED TO BE THE ONE THAT PURSUED THE ROMANCE. AND SOMETIMES HUSBANDS JUST DON’T GET IT. YOU KNOW? AND DON’T BE OFFENDED. I MEAN, IT’S NOT BECAUSE YOU CAN’T. IT’S JUST THAT I THINK THERE’S JUST LIKE A WIRE THAT’S MISSING, AND SOMETIMES THEY JUST NEED A LITTLE HELP. AND SO I CAN REMEMBER THAT I USED TOI USED TO BE THE ONE THAT WOULD INITIATE, YOU KNOW, AND I WOULD, YOU KNOW, PLAN SPECIAL, YOU KNOW, TIMES JIMMY: YOU DID. I MEAN, YOU WERE GREAT AT IT. KAREN: YOU KNOW, MEET YOU AT THE DOOR, YOU KNOW, AND SAY, ARE YOU READY? I MEAN, IT’S JUST FUN THINGS YOU CAN THINK OF DOING. AND JUST KIND OF GIVE THEM THE IDEAS. AND THEN SAY, IT’S YOUR TURN NEXT, YOU KNOW, AND SAY, YOU PLAN THIS WEEK. IF I PLAN THIS WEEKWHAT I LOVE ABOUT WHAT WE DO IS HE’D SAY, OK, IT’S MY NIGHT, AND I GET TO SAY WHAT I WANT, AND THENAND THEN JIMMY: AND THEY’RE A LOT DIFFERENT THAN YOUR NIGHTS. BETTER IN MY OPINION. KAREN: AND I SAID, OK, WE’LL DO YOUR WAY, AND THEN WE’RE GONNA DO MY WAY. SO, I’M JIMMY: IT WAS. IT WAS GREAT. YOU WERE VERY GOOD, KAREN, ABOUT COMING INTO MY WORLD, ABOUT PURSUING ME, AND ABOUT NOT BARKING AT ME AND TELLING ME WHAT I WASN’T DOING, BUT LOVING ME AND HELPING ME TO DO IT. AND I AGREE WITH WHAT THIS LADY SAID. IF YOU HAVE TO KEEP TELLING A PERSON WHAT TO DO, YOU KNOW, THAT’S NO FUN. BUT SHE CAN COME INTO HIS WORLD AND BE AS FUN AND ADVENTUROUS AND SEXUAL AS SHE CAN BE, WIN HER HUSBAND OVER, AS SHE PRAYS FOR HIM, AND THAT’S REALLY ALL THAT SHE CAN DO. BUT IF SHE DOESN’T DO THAT, AND IF SHE JUST KIND OF GOES INTO HER CORNER AND GETS ANGRY, NO ONE’S FIGHTING FOR THE MARRIAGE. AND THIS IS WHAT YOU DID, KAREN, YOU FOUGHT FOR OUR MARRIAGE. AND REALLY AND TRULY, I MEAN, YOU KNOW, SOME PEOPLE MIGHT LOOK AT OUR MARRIAGE AND THINK, OH, MY GOSH, YOU GUYS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HAPPY. WE WERE MISERABLE. WE WERE ON THE BRINK OF DIVORCE. AND HONESTLY, I HAVE A WONDERFUL WIFE TO THANK FOR BEING MARRIED TODAY, BECAUSE SHE PRAYED FOR ME, SHE LOVED ME. SHE STOOD UP TO ME AND TOLD ME THE TRUTH ALSO. BUT ONCE YOU’VE DONE THAT, THAT’S ALL YOU CAN DO. NOW, WE’RE GONNA COME BACK IN JUST A MINUTE WITH ANOTHER QUESTION. BUT RIGHT NOW WE’RE GOING TO TELL YOU ABOUT A VERY SPECIAL GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO HELP US HERE AT “MARRIAGE TODAY.” WE CAN’T DO WHAT WE DO UNLESS WE HAVE PARTNERS, FINANCIAL SUPPORTERS OF THE MINISTRY. BUT WHEN YOU BECOME A PARTNER WITH US, YOU GET BENEFITS FOR THAT. WE WANT TO HELP YOU BUILD YOUR MARRIAGE WITH SPECIAL RESOURCES THAT WE ONLY GIVE TO OUR PARTNERS. SO RIGHT NOW OUR ANNOUNCER’S GOING TO COME ON AND TELL YOU HOW YOU CAN GET THIS SPECIAL RESOURCE THAT COMES TO OUR ROCK SOLID PARTNERS. ANNOUNCER: WHEN YOU STAND WITH “MARRIAGE TODAY,” YOUR INDIVIDUAL EFFORT MULTIPLIES WITH OTHER LIKE-MINDED PARTNERS, AND TOGETHER, WE CAN REBUILD THE DREAM OF MARRIAGE FOR COUPLES AROUND THE WORLD. BEING A ROCK SOLID PARTNER WITH “MARRIAGE TODAY” GRANTS YOU IMMEDIATE ACCESS TO AN EXCLUSIVE LIBRARY OF THE MINISTRY’S RESOURCES AND INTIMATELY CONNECTS YOU WITH OUR MISSION OF HELPING COUPLES SUCCEED IN MARRIAGE. WOMAN: THAT’S REALLY WHY WE BECAME ROCK SOLID PARTNERS, JUST BECAUSE THERE WAS SO MUCH AVAILABLE TO HELP US TO HELP OTHER MARRIAGES HEAL THE WAY THAT WE HAVE. MAN: THAT’S WHY WE’RE TIED INTO THE MINISTRY. WE WANT TO BE ABLE TO BLESS AND GIVE SO THEY CAN KEEP DOING WHAT THEY’RE DOING. WOMAN: YOU’RE GUARANTEED IF YOU LISTEN TO ANY OF THE RESOURCES, YOU READ THE RESOURCES, YOU COME TO A CONFERENCE, YOU WILL BE CHANGED. ANNOUNCER: EVERYONE HAS SOMETHING TO GIVE, AND THERE ARE MILLIONS OF UNREACHED COUPLES WHO DESPERATELY NEED THE MARRIAGE STRENGTHENING RESOURCES OF “MARRIAGE TODAY.” THAT’S WHY WE NEED YOU TO JOIN US. BECOME A ROCK SOLID PARTNER WITH THE MINISTRY AND MISSION OF “MARRIAGE TODAY.” JIMMY: WELCOME BACK. WE’RE TALKING IN THIS PROGRAM, HUGE ISSUE OF HOW TO KEEP ROMANCE ALIVE IN YOUR MARRIAGE. ROMANCE IS A HUGE ISSUE. IT’S AN IMPORTANT DISCIPLINE. IT’S NOT JUST AN EXTRA OR A SEASONAL THING. IT REALLY IS CRITICAL EVERY DAY. SO, KAREN, WE HAVE ANOTHER QUESTION. KAREN: YES. “WHAT ARE THE BEST HABITS THAT A COUPLE CAN HAVE TO KEEP LOVE ALIVE IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP? WE HAVE KIDS AND A BUSY LIFE, AND WE DON’T WANT OUR RELATIONSHIP TO GO DOWN THE WRONG PATH.” JIMMY: YOU KNOW, ONE OF THE THINGSAND I WANT YOU TO ANSWER THIS, TOO, KARENONE OF THE THINGS THAT WE ALWAYS HEAR FROM COUPLES THAT HAVE STRONG MARRIAGES IS THEY HAVE A DATE NIGHT. AND THIS SEEMS TO BE REALLY AND TRULY, IT JUST KIND OF DAWNED ON ME ONE DAY. I HEARD COUPLES TALK ABOUT THEIR DATE NIGHTS. BUT IT JUSTIT SEEMS AS THOUGH THE COUPLES THAT ARE HAPPY THE LONGEST HAVE DISCIPLINES AND HABITS. AND THE WAY I SAY IT IS, IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU CAN MAKE HAPPEN. IT MATTERS WHAT YOU CAN KEEP HAPPENING. IN OTHER WORDS, YOU MAY HAVE A VERY ROMANTIC TRIP. YOU MAY HAVE A VERY ROMANTIC MEAL. BUT THOSE THINGS COME AND GO. WHAT CAN YOU KEEP HAPPENING? AND I THINK EVERY WEEK YOU OUGHT TO HAVE A DATE NIGHT. A TIME WHERE YOU WORK TO BE TOGETHER. WE DID SEVERAL THINGS, KAREN. ONE OF THE THINGS THAT WE DID, WE WALKED TOGETHER IN THE MORNINGS FOR ABOUT AN HOUR AND A HALF. WE STILL DO THIS PRETTY REGULARLY. AND WE WOULD TALK FOR 45 MINUTES AND PRAY FOR 45 MINUTES. HUGE BENEFIT TO OUR RELATIONSHIP. UM, WE HAD REGULAR TIMES THAT WE WENT OUT OF TOWN. NOW, WE DIDN’T HAVE ANY MONEY, SO WE STAYED AT SOME PRETTY CRUMMY MOTELS. BUT WE WOULD EVERY 5 OR 6 WEEKS WE WOULD TAKEMAKE SURE THE KIDS WERE TAKEN CARE OF, AND WE WOULD GO FOR A NIGHT OR TWO BY OURSELVES. HUGE BENEFIT. KAREN: YOU’VE SAID THIS BEFORE, BUT, IF ANYBODY’S BUSY, WE’RE BUSY. I MEAN, WE’RE VERY BUSY PEOPLE. AND WE HAD YOUNG CHILDREN, AND WE HAD, YOU KNOW, JOBS THAT WERE JUST CONSTANTLY TAKING OUR TIME. AND THEN THE STRESS OF LIFE. IT CAN BE SO OVERWHELMING. BUT YOU’RE EXACTLY RIGHT. IF YOU DON’T PRIORITIZE THOSE TIMES WITH JUST THE TWO OF YOU, JUST THE TWO OF YOU. AND IT IS THE KEY. JIMMY: IT’S MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING ELSE, YOU KNOW. IT IT’S MORE IMPORTANT THAN, YOU KNOW, WORK, FRIENDS, ANYTHING LIKE THAT. AND YOU JUST HAVE TOIT’S INVIOLABLE. YOU JUST HAVE TO MAKE TIME FOR YOUR MARRIAGE THAT YOU’RE NOT GOING TO GIVE UP TO ANYBODY ELSE. AND YOUR KIDS ARE IMPORTANT, THERE ARE OTHER IMPORTANT THINGS. BUT YOU HAVE TO JUST MAKE IT NOT THE LAST THING YOU GET TO IF YOU CAN, BUT THE FIRST THING YOU’RE GOING TO GET TO, AND EVERYBODY ELSE IS GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE THEIR PLACE. UNFORTUNATELY, KAREN, WE’RE OUT OF TIME. BUT WE HOPE THAT THIS PROGRAM HAS BEEN HELPFUL TO YOU TODAY ON KEEPING ROMANCE ALIVE IN YOUR MARRIAGE. WE’LL SEE YOU NEXT TIME. GOD BLESS YOU. ANNOUNCER: THANK YOU FOR WATCHING “MARRIAGE TODAY WITH JIMMY & KAREN.” SUPPORT “MARRIAGE TODAY” WITH YOUR BEST GIFT AND RECEIVE THE SERIES “THE INDESTRUCTIBLE MARRIAGE.” BECOME A ROCK SOLID PARTNER TODAY AND CONNECT WITH THE MISSION OF “MARRIAGE TODAY.” TOGETHER, WE CAN HELP COUPLES SUCCEED IN MARRIAGE.

17 Replies to “How to Revive Romance in Your Marriage”

  1. Well I myself really like to watch the Lifetime Network with my sexy ass queen. I will watch just about anything with her because I love her that much. Love is LifeTime NetWork watching…

  2. This was great, been searching for "romance between husband and wife" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you heard people talk about – Teyackenzie Cenarper Release – (search on google ) ? Ive heard some interesting things about it and my co-worker got cool results with it.

  3. There are several components to ways to improve relationships. One place I discovered which succeeds in merging these is the adult magic tactic (google it if you're interested) definately the best resource that I have ever seen. Check out all the amazing information .

  4. I am not a mind reader and I can't tell what a person wants. I have done the romance and all that goes with it and I have had limited results. If someone isn't into you then you can't do anything about it.females expect romantic gestures but don't often return in kind

  5. He wants to hang out w his friend Jimmy watch sports doesnt want me in that world. Hes anti intamicy he does everything opposite of bonding w your wife.

  6. When we were dating my husband sang a beautiful country song to me. It was called "Welcome to My World". I had no idea how literal he was being. LOL

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