Inside Amy Schumer – Bachelorette Party Disaster

Inside Amy Schumer – Bachelorette Party Disaster


a bachelorette party bus
flipped over the Pines Bridge
and landed
on top of a booze cruise
carrying a separate bachelorette
party.
Now, our first responders were
on the scene almost immediately
and, as it turns out,
the small penises we found
dotting the shoreline were not
the remains of young boys
but were,
in fact, straw toppers,
or “dicky sippies,” as
they’re called.
These here.
These are used for
drinking alcohol out of.
I’d like to turn this over
to the head of the ICU
at Mercy Medical,
Dr. Todd Mandible.
Good morning.
As it stands, we are treating
11 women for hypothermia after spending several hours
in the water clinging to inflatable sex dolls.
Four women, uh, remain in
critical condition in what I can only describe as
a rat king situation
in which
they are bound together
in a wet tangle of hair
extensions and feather boas.
Thank you, Dr. Mandible.
We’ve questioned
several witnesses.
One man recanted the following
conversation he overheard.
“Help, my best friend
is drowning.”
“She’s not your best friend.”
“Really– Then why
am I the maid of honor?”
In every case, onlookers who
called 9-1-1
urged us to take our time.
Sadly, there were fatalities
and for that I’m gonna turn it
over to our chief coroner.
Thank you, sheriff.
Yes, there
were multiple fatalities,
including three alcohol
poisonings
that were not
related to the crash.
(reporters murmuring)
(man)
Can you give us some
more details?
(man)
Well, at least
one woman drowned
after being knocked unconscious
by a bitch goblet.
(man)
What’s a bitch goblet?
To my knowledge, a bitch goblet
is a large drinking goblet
with the word “bitch”
stenciled in puff paint
across the back of it.
One woman who made a brave
effort to make it ashore,
but her
hair was so messed up
and her makeup was so
grotesquely running
that some local farmers thought
she was one of the ghost girls
from “The Ring” and smashed
her head with a shovel.
But probably the most tragic
loss was a woman named Beth
who was surprised that she was
even invited to the party,
she was just
a friend of a friend.
Thought about not going,
decided, (bleep) it, why not go?
And she’s dead.
I’d like to turn it over
now to the fire chief.
Oh.
I’m sorry, that’s
a surviving stripper.
Nice, okay.
Thanks, Barnabas.
Yes.
(man)
What happened
to the drivers?
Both the driver of
the party bus
and the captain of
the booze cruise are deceased.
They committed suicide
prior to the accident,
for obvious reasons.
The survivors are currently
with grief counselors
and we have made sure
that those grief counselors
have their own
grief counselors.
Now, our… our thoughts and
prayers are with the families
of the surviving girls, as these
girls are the worst.
Please respect their privacy
at this humiliating time,
thank you.
(reporters murmuring)

100 Replies to “Inside Amy Schumer – Bachelorette Party Disaster”

  1. This is one of favourite Amy Schumer sketches, it shows her typical style of starting subtle and getting more and more blatant and hilarious towards the end. The ending is amazing.

  2. A lingerie shower brought a whole box of those penis-straws to our restaurant once and we had to hide them under the tables until they got there to make sure no children saw them.

  3. Wolf Blitzer on CNN was walking along the river bank, picking up dicky zippies, stating how they were such a sad reminder of the tragedy the night before.

  4. fox news is probably going to mistake this for a real tragedy and try to spin it as a 'moral lesson' to all those loose ankled 'whores', er, womenfolk

  5. As a bartender in the gay district (Castro) in San Francisco, I can attest that this is how these parties go down. Minus the bus crash and casualties. Yes, bachelorette parties frequent gay bars. Hilarious.

  6. If you count the number of cuts in this video, they couldn't do more than one sentence at a time without laughing.

  7. I don't know how they all kept a straight face though all of that.  I wonder how many times they had to do it?

  8. so both driver and cruise captain committed a suicide PRIOR to accident? haha no wonder bus flipped into the cruise.

  9. Someday in the near future, there should be another version of this video but dealing with homophobia or elderly who don't understand what genderfluid is or sexism

  10. What's a ''Rat King''? Better tell me , because I don't want to google it and look at disturbing images.

  11. How do people like Amy Schumer or even finding her funny I will never understand. Seriously, which of all of these said in this video was actually funny? Was it that this girls where repeatedly called bitches or the worse? Was it that no actor, including Amy Schummer was convincing what so ever or even trying at all? Was it maybe how comfusing the whole situation was getting every time Amy was starting setting up a joke, only to end it shortly after without any punch line or even a reason why what she said was funny?
    Seriously, if you think what Amy SChumer does is good, then, maybe somebody should tell her to make a show where she acts like a fake anchor woman and says fake news or something, but, please, don't act like she knows anything more of comedy out of her unfocused social commentary and her lucky star (or maybe amazingly well developed network and pr abilitie), cause whenever you think of that, one future comedian is loosing his spark for comedy, or even worse she gets misdirected and thinks that if she does what Amy does she's going to have a career.

  12. why would the onlooker urge the police to take their time or "get here when you can"?? is it symbolic of what women say to men while having an orgasm or where they just enjoying the scene?? Didn't get the joke :/

  13. If you were me,,, and these choices were offered who would you chooze,,, can you blame me,,, and look at me,,, I'm mising pieces of myself and sometimes I nerd out,,, I new she dug me all along,,, how could she not help it,,, I mean,,,, shittt,,,,for chix,,, I think,,, that there would be enuff of me to be good to no more,,

  14. Amy Schumer is brilliant. I don't give a shit if she stole every joke in her joke cabinet. She delivers with flawless satire and exposes the mind numbing excess of this existence.

  15. Also, Todd Barry is sexy AF in his depiction of a jaded coroner. When he says, "bitch goblet" I spit beer out of my nose.

  16. Hilarious…but 1 criticism. Don't explain your own jokes. Our thoughts and prayers are with the families of the survivors. Period. No need to add bc these girls are the worst. We got it. You take away from the hilarity when you explain the obvious.

  17. why amy why have you stopped making these videos ?!! i am currently binge watching all the videos that i’ve already watched hundreds of times!! love them all ❤️ and i couldn’t stop laughing at the stripper part dang !! 🤣😂😂🤣😂

  18. I LOVE how the captions say exactly what the people are saying; that is what news shows do all the time. Also, for some reason the phrase “both driver of the party bus and captain of the Booze Cruise” made me piss my pants. Her delivery of it 🤣🤣👌

  19. That’s all u hear from Amy no matter wot the sketch am a drunk am whore am an alcoholic not exactly girlfriend material!?

  20. This must be chick-comedy or something. I didn't find it all that good. I cracked a smile once but that's about it.

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