Pete Holmes on Marriage: Sex or Sleep

Pete Holmes on Marriage: Sex or Sleep


SINCE YOU CAME HERE YOU GOT
MARRIED. YOU AND YOUR WIFE,
CONGRATULATIONS.>>I DID. THANK YOU, THANK YOU. (APPLAUSE).>>James: ARE YOU– WHERE ARE
YOU, ARE YOU STILL IN THE HONEYMOON PERIOD?>>I WOULD SAY SO, I SUPPOSEMENT
ALTHOUGH WE’VE BEEN LIVING TOGETHER FOR AWHILE SO THAT’S
NOT VERY ROMANTIC.>>YOU JUST GOT THE LAW
INVOLVED.>>James: THAT IS ALL YOU DO,
YOU GET THE LAW INVOLVED, COMPLETELY RIGHT.>>EVERYTHING CONTINUES THE SAME
BUT NOW IT’S OFFICIAL. BUT YEAH, IT’S A LITTLE BIT
DIFFERENT WHEN ARE YOU MARRIED THAN WHEN ARE YOU SINGLE,
BECAUSE YOU KNOW, SEX.>>YEAH, TRYING TO REMEMBER SEX. (LAUGHTER)
NO, YOU LOOK AT SEX DIFFERENTLY, LIKE WHEN ARE YOU SINGLE SEX
ARRIVESES AND ARE YOU LIKE OH MY GOD, SEX. AND NOW YOU ARE MARRIED, THE
PERSON YOU HAVE SEX WITH IS ALWAYS AROUND, WHICH IS
WONDERFUL. BUT DO I CATCH MYSELF.>>WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?>>I BET YOU CAN RELATE TO THIS. IN THE MORNING, SOMETIMES MY
WIFE VAL HAS TO GET UP BEFORE I GET– I’M A COMEDIAN IS SHE GETS
UP AT LIKE 9.>>James: SURE.>>LIKE 9 AND I HAVE TO DECIDE
IN THAT MOMENT AM I GOING TO PURSUE SEX OR STAY ASLEEP.>>YEAH.>>AND THAT IS WHAT MARRIAGE
FEELS LIKE TO ME. AND THE BRAIN BREAKS INTO TWO. AND THE PART OF THE BRAIN THAT
LIKES SEX IS MAKING THE ARGUMENT, PART OF MY BRAIN THAT
LIKES SLEEP IS MAKING AN ARGUMENT. THE PART OF MAY BRAIN THAT LIKES
SLEEP IS VERY PERSUASIVE.>>YEAH. YOU KNOW, THIS IS WHAT SEX
SYMBOLS LIKE ME THINK ABOUT.>>James: AND NONE OF THIS IS
MENTIONED IN ANY OF THE 50 SHADES FREED, THE CRAZY THING
ABOUT IT.>>IT IS THE 5 1S SHADE.

23 Replies to “Pete Holmes on Marriage: Sex or Sleep”

  1. Lol I knew he looked familiar, except I thought he was the guy who has the world record for the biggest dong hahahahhaha!! I thought they had him on with Jamie because of 50 shades heh

  2. Ironic when someone like Jamie, who's being called a sex symbol all over the world says "trying to remember sex"…guess marriage really changes certain things

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