Substitute Teacher – Key & Peele

Substitute Teacher – Key & Peele


[bell rings] – ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP, Y’ALL. I’M Y’ALL’S SUBSTITUTE TEACHER,
MR. GARVEY. I TAUGHT SCHOOL FOR 20 YEARS
IN THE INNER CITY, SO DON’T EVEN THINK
ABOUT MESSING WITH ME. Y’ALL FEEL ME?
– MM-HMM. – OKAY.
LET’S TAKE ROLL HERE. JAY QUELLIN. WHERE’S JAY QUELLIN AT? NO JAY QUELLIN HERE? – [clears throat]
– YEAH. – UH, DO YOU MEAN JACQUELINE? – OKAY. SO THAT’S
HOW IT’S GONNA BE. Y’ALL WANNA PLAY. OKAY, THEN. I GOT MY EYE ON YOU,
JAY QUELLIN. BALAKAY. WHERE IS BALAKAY AT? THERE’S NO BALAKAY HERE TODAY? YES, SIR. – MY NAME IS BLAKE.
– BL… ARE YOU OUT
OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? [mocking voice] BLAKE.
WHAT? DO YOU WANNA GO TO WAR, BALAKEY?
– NO. – ‘CAUSE WE COULD GO TO WAR.
– NO. – I’M FOR REAL.
I’M FOR REAL. SO YOU BETTER CHECK YOURSELF. DEE-NICE. IS THERE A DEE-NICE? IF ONE OF Y’ALL SAYS
SOME SILLY-ASS NAME… THIS WHOLE CLASS
IS GONNA FEEL MY WRATH. NOW, DEE-NICE.
– DO YOU MEAN DENISE? – SON OF A BITCH! YOU SAY YOUR NAME RIGHT,
RIGHT NOW. – DENISE?
– YOU SAY IT RIGHT. – DENISE.
– CORRECTLY. – DENISE.
– RIGHT. – DENISE.
– RIGHT. – DEE-NICE.
– THAT’S BETTER. – [sighs]
– THANK YOU. NOW, AY-AY-RON. WHERE ARE YOU? WHERE IS AY-AY-RON RIGHT NOW? NO AY-AY RON, HUH? WELL, YOU BETTER BE SICK,
DEAD, OR MUTE, AY-AY-RON! – HERE.
OH, MAN. – WHY DIDN’T YOU ANSWER ME
THE FIRST TIME I SAID IT, HUH? – HUH?
– YOU KNOW, I’M JUST ASKING YOU. I SAID IT,
LIKE, FOUR TIMES. SO WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY IT THE
FIRST TIME I SAID, “AY-AY-RON?” – BECAUSE IT’S PRONOUNCED
“AARON.” – SON OF A BITCH!
[clattering] YOU DONE MESSED UP, AY-AY RON,
NOW TAKE YOUR ASS ON DOWN TO OH-SHAG-HENNESY’S OFFICE
RIGHT NOW AND TELL HIM EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID! – WHO?
– OH-SHAG-HENNESY! – PRINCIPAL O’SHAUGHNESSY? – GET OUT OF MY GODDAMN
CLASSROOM BEFORE I BREAK MY FOOT OFF
IN YOUR ASS! INSUBORDINATE… AND CHURLISH. TYM-OH-THEE. – PRESENT.
– THANK YOU!

63 Replies to “Substitute Teacher – Key & Peele”

  1. Subscribe to the new Key & Peele YouTube channel for all the classics as well as new-to-YouTube sketches: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdN4aXTrHAtfgbVG9HjBmxQ?sub_confirmation=1

  2. A-aron reclining on his left hand, then next shot is looking scared to death with no arms on the table. Fast reflexes, dawg

  3. I'm called Aaron, and at some point in time everybod at school started referring to me as A a ron and I had no idea what was going on lol

  4. I had a friend Aaron who got called to the principles office over the school intercom…… you know what happens from there on out

  5. "Say it right"
    "Denise"
    "Correctly"
    "Denise"
    "Right"
    "Denise"
    "Right"
    Denise"
    "Right"
    "Dee Nice"
    "That's better, thank you."

  6. “If one of y’all says some silly a** name, this whole class is gonna feel my rage!”
    ….
    “Do you mean DENISE”
    ?????

  7. This dude dose not know how to speak let me guess gasvenmy oh wait I forgot mr gasvenmy that’s a stumped name?!???????

  8. I first watched this in class 2013 (the teacher showed it) . It was overhyped and not funny then, and nothing has changed

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