Things Southerners Say At Kid’s Birthday Parties

Things Southerners Say At Kid’s Birthday Parties


This year’s theme is Splish-Splash it’s a Mermaid Bash. Aren’t these decorations adorable? Praise the Lord for Etsy! Theme? Well the Theme is Birthday. The theme of my last birthday party was get a job kid. I was eight years old. dont get on that bounce house and throw up Braxton! Your mama ain’t gonna pay that security deposit! I’ve seen her fake Michael Kors purse. It might as well say Great Value. I don’t know what it cost to rent that bounce house thing, but I tell you what, you over paid for it. I can make one of them with two blue tarps and a leaf blower. I had to take out a second mortgage on my non-bounce actual house but it was worth every penny! Time to open presents! I only got ten minutes left on this patio and I’m not taking all these gift bags home with me! Oh no sweety. We don’t open presents at the party. We wait till we get home to open them so we can stop and write a thank you note for each and every one. Hey did you open your presents already? How many of them play those Frozen song? All of them. Well alright, I’m never going back in the house again. I live here now. The cold never bothered me anyway. Well I didn’t really consider Chuck E. Cheese cause I like to do my own theme and they already got a theme, which is Come on Kid’s Let’s All Get Pink Eye! Oh yeah, I’ve been to Chuck E. Cheese once. Boy I’ve seen some things that would shake you to your core. Hey! Y’all go get your picture taken with The Little Merm… I mean Unlicensed Sea Princess! You know I didn’t know she was gonna actually wear The seashell bikini Sister Geraldine sees that, she’s gonna hit the ceiling. I mwan her hair’s already half way there but still. Man, I tell you what. When i was a kid the only character show’d up to my party was Uncle Ed. Hire characters? I don’t even know what this is! Looks like something they’d put on T.V. to blur out your private parts Here, y’all come get you some seaweed punch! It’s just sherbert and 7UP. We are in the church fellowship hall. (stabbing sound) I knew I should have bought cokes instead. Oh here, let me see that. There it’s open now. Be sure to put sea-suds on your hands before you get cake. Yes! I themed the hand sanitizer. Boy don’t let that cupcake go to waste because you dropped it on the ground. God made dirt and dirt don’t hurt. so put it in your mouth and make it work! Is Dakota coughin’ on the cupcakes? you better step away from that table! I know your mama took you to the after hours this week. I don’t know what you got, but I don’t want it! Oh you looking for food? Well we had some pigs in a blanket, but I regret to inform you they did not make it out of the kitchen. I think theres some Little Caesars pizza past the cake table. Yeah, out the parking lot and five miles down the street. Does this look like a school cafeteria to you?! I’m not feeding twenty kids today. That’s why I had this party at three o’clock. Oh sorry, we don’t have ice cream this year. That was last years theme, remember? Here is the Scoop My baby’s Turnin’ Two. I gave all the kids unlimited ice cream sundays and sent them home. Some of their mama’s still won’t talk to me. Nah we ain’t got no Blue Bell. We Just got that ice cream that comes in a big bucket. Oh hey, hey, hey ,hey! Don’t throw that out we can just wash it out and reuse it. That thing makes a good bucket. Y’all don’t forget your goodie bags. I made each one of them with love! And my remaining store credit at the Hobby Lobby. Goodie bags?! (laughter)

100 Replies to “Things Southerners Say At Kid’s Birthday Parties”

  1. My daughter' s theme party at 2 wild kingdom. At the park outside the Houston Zoo. The last was a sleep over Oscars night at 13. Glamour shots red carpet movie ticket invites crafted goody bags while Oscar winning movies ran all night. The girls got no sleep and I was one over worked Southern mom. It was a great blow out. Fed the girls breakfast and sent them home exhausted. Best theme party Evah

  2. I worked in Indiana and Kentucky what I loved was wearing my carthart jackets I would wear my Godfather coat or,blue, light tan, green carthart jackets. I miss the rain and cold not humidity. I download podcast. One week ago, I wore my carthart thermals it 40 degree outside. Downey California

  3. Perfect timing because today is my birthday!!! Although I am about 20 years too late for a kids birthday, still I will take it!! haha

  4. "I ain't feedin' 20 kids! That's why I had this thing at 3:00." True story. I was mom #1 until the kids were about 7. Then I became mom #2. My husband and I used to fuss about who had had to take a kid to someone's else's Chuck E Cheese aka the noisy germ and snot factory. And yes. We saved the plastic Walmart buckets. They were handy!

  5. After being subscribed and watching for so long, I can't believe I didn't think of this until now…, but although the writers, directors, the rest of the production team, and obviously the actors/actresses are amazing and super talented, is the script written with particular people in mind, or do they choose the character that's easiest for them to portray? Keep up the great work, and thanks so much for all your hard work and dedication!

  6. I just want to say thank y'all so much for these videos and the joy they bring. Also, I'm 99% sure that I'm going to be Parent #3

  7. We didn't have any theme bbday parties but i still remember my 12th bbday in 1972 in Texas i got my first gun, a .22 rifle me my dad and some friends went target shooting at the levee. Different times

  8. Happy Valentine's Day everyone!!!!! (cos this was posted on Valentine's Day in my country) ❤️❤️❤️❤️💘💘💘💘

  9. That is the thing that amazes me the most. I drank Capris Sun as a kid (25 years ago) and to this day they have not made it any easier to put the straw in. I think they even made it harder.

  10. That cake plate balanced so precariously on the guy's knee was starting to get under my skin. Did it affect anyone else that way? I just kept thinking, "God, it's going to fall off into the dirt any second now if he doesn't find a more stable place to put it!" Am I just weird that way?

  11. I love when she said "I gave them ice cream and sent them home some of their mothers still wont talk to me" its funny because me and my mom get annoying toys for my cousins so it annoys their parents and we find it hilarious because im the okdest cousin and ive grown out of those toys but watching them hate the toy but the kid loving it was always funny

  12. Oh my gosh, there's so much to love in here, praise the Lord for etsy, 2 blue tarps and a leaf blower, let's all go get pinkeye, unlicensed sea princess, looks like something they use on tv to blur out your private parts, that thing makes a good bucket!!!!!!!!🤣😂😃😂🤣👏👏 Y'all slay me😱💀❤

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  14. My family didn’t normally do birthday parties for various reasons, and the few times we did the birthday wasn’t that different except our choice of dessert & savory dish was served during the daytime instead of at night. 😁 Oh, this one relative would regularly bring cookie cake to most parties she attended.

  15. I showed this to my stepdad and all he said was, "You can't do that with 2 blue tarps and a leaf blower. You need duct tape to hold them together. Let me show you." NOOOOO! I get it… no need for a demo!

  16. Don’t forget the “I don’t care if it’s your birthday Imma still bust ya hind end if you keep smartin off to me”. 😂

  17. Pulls out the knife and cuts open the juice pouch. Been there done that. That’s why southern dads (and granddads) carry a knife.

  18. I worked at a party store for 5 years in Abilene Texas and this video is 100% accurate. Good job its a southern thing👌

  19. LMAO! 🤣🤣 the theme thing is way over the top! I can’t believe the parties these days. It was a big thing for our kids to do the McDonalds birthday parties. At least I didn’t have to take out a loan.

  20. Have heard them (almost) all. It's these things that make kids growup fast. Birthday party? Nah, not on my birthday you don't.

  21. I hear ya Matt. This is why I never give presents that make noises. They make kids toys waayyy too loud like they want your kids(and you) to go deaf.

  22. I was like 8 and I asked my dad help with a caprisun. He cut it open just like the guy in this video did.
    Me: its spilling!
    Him: what does that teach you.
    Me: …..dont….spill?
    Him: you old enough to open your own crap.

    XD

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