Trump Takes India | The Daily Show

Trump Takes India | The Daily Show


President Donald Trump–
still not used to saying that. Last night, he flew 8,000 miles for his first state visit
to India. Now, Trump’s in India partly
to negotiate a trade deal, and partly to get his copy
of the Kama Sutra signed. Yeah, Trump and Melania use
that book all the time. Her favorite position is the one
where she’s on top, -and he’s not in the room.
-(laughter) Now, you might be wondering
how would a country full of brown people react
to a visit from Donald Trump? Well, it turns out,
from the moment Trump arrived, it was love at first sight. President Trump
just arrived this morning for a two-day visit. The president received
what’s being called a “king’s welcome,” orchestrated
by the Indian prime minister. The president headed
a massive rally packed with more than
a hundred thousand people. A Make America Great Again
rally, India-style. ♪ ♪ They even blasted “Macho Man” before the president
took the stage, and when he did,
a show of affection for India’s prime minister. Namaste, Trump! NEWSMAN: The president
is overwhelmingly popular here in India,
where his pro-business, tough-on-terror image
is widely admired. I happen to like
Prime Minister Modi a lot. He says between the stadium
and… and the, uh… airport, we’ll have
about seven million people. So it’s gonna be very exciting. Seven million people came out to see Trump go
from the airport to the stadium? That’s impressive. Although, to be fair,
it’s also India– there’s seven million people
between any two locations. -(laughter)
-Yeah, I mean… the line at Indian Starbucks
is seven million people. There are Indian brides right
now who are like, “No, Daddy, I just want a small wedding– no
more than seven million people.” He’s like, “Okay, Anushka,
first cousins only.” But it is true that Donald Trump
is very popular in India. All right? Some like him because
of his anti-Muslim rhetoric, some like him
because of his business savvy, and all of them like him because his skin
looks like tikka masala. -(laughter)
-And since India is so fond… -(applause, cheering)
-so fond… of President
Donald Jaipur Trump, they pulled out all the stops
for his visit. NEWSWOMAN:
At India’s famous Taj Mahal, workers paint,
spruce and polish, roads are renovated, and
nearby, the Yamuna River rises, as millions of liters of water
are released to cover its foul,
polluted smell. Preparations included
a hastily built wall that critics say was meant
to block the view of a slum, keeping thousands
of poor people out of sight. Yeah. India is trying so hard
to impress Trump that they’re building new roads,
cleaning up dams, and even building a wall
to hide their slums. And you know Trump’s
got to love that. He’s just like, “You see?
They built a wall, “and I haven’t seen
a single Mexican. -(laughter)
-It works, folks.” Now, India cleaning
its rivers and streets for Trump might seem extreme,
but if you think about it, this is basically what guys do whenever a girl says
she’s coming over, right? Yeah, you make the bed,
pick up your clothes, hide all your junk
in the closet. Then she calls
and says she can’t make it, and you’re like, “Damn it! So I
flushed the toilet for nothing?” So clearly,
India is trying to give Trump a memorable experience. There was, however,
one tiny culture clash that Trump had to deal with. Donald Trump is in India
this morning, but he could be forced
to go without his favorite meals of burgers and steaks. India’s prime minister,
Narendra Modi, a devout vegetarian,
plans not to serve any meat to the president during his visit.
One person who’s familiar with President Trump’s
eating habits has told the media
they’re worried about how he’ll cope
with the lack of meat, saying: “I have never seen him eat
a vegetable.” (laughter) I honestly don’t know
what’s stranger… the fact that Trump
might eat vegetables or that people are actually
worried about how it’ll go. Because you realize the news
wasn’t even snarky about it. They weren’t like, “Ha-ha! The president
has to eat vegetables!” They were like, “Yo,
if Donald Trump eats broccoli, -he could die.”
-(laughter) So, this is gonna be hard
on Trump. And you know what I was thinking
is what’s worse for him, is that cows are
so sacred in India, that they’re allowed to just
wander around in the city. So can you imagine how hard
that’s gonna be for him? He hasn’t eaten beef
for two days, and then he’s just gonna start
seeing cows in the street, and he’s gonna be like,
“Oh, my God, I’m hallucinating! “All the cows I’ve eaten
have come back to haunt me -(whooping, applause)
-“I’m sorry, cows. I’m so sorry! So sorry.” But I will say, I’m impressed,
because despite the beef issue, Trump is making the best
of his India trip. In fact, he even made an effort
to show the Indian people how much he respects them by
trying to speak their language. And it went about as well
as you would think. India welcomes us at the world’s largest
cricket stadium right here in “Abbabad.” Nam-oo-stay. Chiwala. Gushard. Sardar Patel. Arshrom. Suchin-tendo-kur. Goosholah. Go-ah. Dewali. As the great religious teacher Swami Vive-kamunund
once said… (laughter) Oh, man! Oh, okay, even if
that pronunciation was right, that facial expression was
so wrong. That looked like the most
exercise he’s gotten in decades. Just like, “Kum-kum-mund-nun… “Kum-mund-nun… All right,
that’s my steps for the day. I’m done.” Oh, man. Now, now,
this was really interesting. After Trump butchered half
the Hindi dictionary, Indian Twitter lost
their minds, right? People were coming on, like,
“Dude, it’s not Nam-oo-stay. “It’s namaste. Who messes up namaste
and says Nam-oo-stay?” But to those Indians,
I say please, don’t be mad. Trump may not be able
to pronounce Hindi words, but he can’t pronounce
English words, either, so… he’s an equal opportunity
offender. And besides, think about it,
it would have been way scarier if Trump had come out
all fluent in Hindi. Can you imagine if he
just came out and he was like: (impersonating Trump
speaking fluent Hindi) Bigly. (laughter, cheering) It would have been weird. So… that was day one of
President Trump’s trip to India, and you know what? I’m proud of the president. I’m really proud of him for
teaching us a valuable lesson, and that is:
No matter how old you are, you can still go to new places,
make new friends, and have new
mind-blowing experiences like eating a carrot
for the first time. (laughter)
-And to that I say: Nam-oo-stay.

64 Replies to “Trump Takes India | The Daily Show”

  1. Whatever u say about Trump due to your idealiogies… But he won millions of indians love across the world.. Jai sri ram ..trump and his family long live and have prosperous life

  2. Huh…Indians atleast urban educated ones think your orange thing is an idiot

    And he made up the 7million Indians bit like he does. That's more than the population of the city he visited…

    And no Indians don't like him because of his islamophobia etc…we have the second largest population of muslims in the world…though the establishment is quite right-wing at the moment and we're struggling with the hate & bigotry that comes with our "supreme leader" version

    Indians lay out the red carpet & spruce up for every US Prez…Clinton, Obama, Bush…this is the most powerful person in the world and one always thinks it should be such a natural friendship between such large plural liberal democracies and then the result is sooo underwhelming & devoid of shared values

  3. India ..a country with no regulation , no healthcare, no social programs….is this the type country you republican america's want, why don't you just move to India or Mexico, you will have one problem, those two countries are full of brown people…

  4. डोलैंड ट्रम्प भारत में नया मेमे कंटेंट है …. धन्यवाद … शांति
    (use Google translation mfkrs)

  5. Well, Trump was very well received in India and most Indian newspapers that I read, were quite positive about both Trump and his visit. That's nice. 🙂
    By the way…I've heard Americans try to speak Swedish, and German…not a success. lol!

    Just look at JFK and his visit to Berlin in 1963.
    "Ich bien ein Berliner."..actually means "I am a german pastry".
    His pronunciation wasn't exactly spot on either, and he was speaking a language withing the same language group. 🙂

  6. Jokes aside, 👏👏 job Trevor but you and John Oliver are missing the bigger picture totally. There are parellals between the neoliberal Dems and the pseudo secular Congress party and Trump/Modi. Don't take my word for it. Remove your blinders and do your research. There are deeper issues common to both countries.

  7. MODI IS GOOD PRIME MINISTER AND GOOD MAN..HE IS HELPING EVERYONE AND INDIA….STOP SPREADING LIES ABOUT INDIA..BOYCOTT ALL THESE FAKE NEWS JOURNALISTS

  8. Gosh, this Trevor guy can really talk, and this whole thing is do funnily delivered, I am up at 4 am hooked, watching it. Great show.

  9. Indian pm is tea wala. He said do laaand 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣 indians know what do laaand trump is 😃😂🤣😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂

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